dissappointment

I can not for what ever reason kick this sinus infection/throat issue that I have. I have been riding a little, but due to my inability to process oxygen well, and that my throat only seems to get drier in doing so I have not been able to train so I dont think that in my condition it would be a good idea to race the Kokopelli. Maybe next year. I have been tossing this around in my mind for awhile hoping that I would just get better so I could go and do it, but I must make a smart decision Trans Rockies is my real focus this year so that is what it must be my real focus, no sense in getting really sick and tired and not being able to do that. I just dont have that kind of money to throw around. I am feeling better than I have been though so I may do one of the local Thursday night races, on thursday imagine that. Put on by the Reno Wheelmen. All in all I am commited to getting back to 100% so that I can be in top form for the end of the season which is when I have most of my big races anyways. Scary that Creampuff is only 2 months away. Jonathan Baker the cancer survivor that I have spoken of is not even on his bike yet, and plans to do it. Inspiration. Tough. Dedicated. I know that eventually I will get better, it is just the way things happen in the world we live in and that pushing it will only delay getting back to a 100%. So I hate to sound like a broken record. This year has been the year of the sickness, and struggle for me. It has been quite a learning experience, and not so fun. I said that this blog would be about cycling and lifes little struggles. Recently it has been more about lifes little struggles, and being held back in a state of darkness, but somebody said "the darkest moment always come right before the light" Well I sure hope it doesnt get any darker in here, because my lights aren't charged. Ha Ha. Well I wish all those racing The Laguna Seca race, the koko, the best. I will hopefully in a small base/build/ riding my bike a whole lot more stage. Rest is the hardest thing for me, actually sitting still is quite difficult, so this time has been gut wrenchingly,is that a word, for me. STill is. But I figure that rest is the only real way for the body to heal. So I am dissappionted about not going to the KOko but what can you do. I am where I am so that is that. I can fight it all i want, but there is no sense in forging on at the expense of my entire season. Keep pedalin.