Monday, November 28, 2005


here is few grainy pictures of my old eggbeaters. can your pedals do this. made for an interesting ride home the other night. had to keep my legs in the right plane or the pedal did its seperating act. i seem to destroy only the right side pedals on all pedals that I ride. any ideas. i thought that maybe it is the side I lay it down on more often. because I am riding fixed do I put more power in to that for stoppin purposes? interesting thoughts. I really like the eggbeaters the only durability issue I have encountered until this incident was the fact that the cleats wear rather quickly. other than that I have loved these pedals since the begining.
one pedal two parts. double the fun or double the pleasure, or is it just double danger. I have decided that I have to go to the doctor again. I have to get some concrete answers, lucky for me just down the street is seattle performance medicine specializing in treating athletes. need I say more. this is the kind of place i should have been going to all along. regular doctors just dont have the same wealth of knowledge, should I say intimate knowledge. now I am speaking from what they advertise as can not get in until december 13th. I am trying not to go crazy in dealing with my current situation. I am trying to ride the emotional roller coaster that has been my life for the last 7 months. I have just not gotten back to normal. I mean to where i dont get tired for days if I over extert myself. trying to lay low, it is just hard because mentally I want to go out and do things but then i just get soooooo tired afterwards. sleep doesnt help either. I have a baseline of fatigue right now. again searching for all the answers. maybe the real answer is just to not think about the answers. as always keep the rubberside down.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Buy nothing day

To all you consumers out there today is buy nothing day. check it out. So dont be buyin nothin today. also this may make ya laugh. just a reminder to yall. peaceful revolution. think peacful revolution. I am sounding a bit like a hippy lately. thanks to mom and dads upbringin in NOrthern VErmont on our own little slice of 30 acre heaven. Power to the peaceful. be alive. what else can I throw at ya. later

Rain is back

So I hope thanksgiving was not too overwhelming, and filling. think food coma. here is a list of the Top 10 things that sound dirty at thanksgiving but aren't:>
10. "Reach in and grab the giblets."
>>9. "Whew...that's one terrific spread!"
8. "I am in the mood for a little dark meat!"
7. "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."
6. "Talk about a HUGE breast!"
5. "And he forces his way into the end zone!"
4. "She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."
3. "It's cool whip time!"
2. "If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!
and the number one thing....
1. "It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out."
Got it in an email and just had to share.

Today I woke up feeling less than good. It seems I just can not get out from under this fatigue. it is a constant ebb and flow, good days followed by bad days for not apparent reason. Today the rain has returned with a vengence so I have been reading and playing on the net. Drinking tea, and coffee and dreaming of sun. It not really as bad as it is made out to be. So here is something I stumbled across, biomimicry, in short learning how nature does things and mimicing it. Taking the emphasis away from oil and gas and our relience on them. The book I am reading right now is here. it talks about sustainable building practices and the such, but it can be realted to all aspects of out lives. For me this illness has been a curse and a blessing. a curse in the sense it has taken me away from my passion racing and competing and finding my mental and physical limits. Blessing in the sense that it has forced me to search out other things to occupy my time and has pushed my mental limits more than any 24 hr race or endurance race ever has. Now this is not a pleasureable experience in the moment which I am currently in, but I feel looking back I will be able to see it as a great experience. that said I am hating it right now, i am so frustrated and feel so fucking weak and lost. It has been redefining, I am fighting it a bit and at times have the urge to just cave and walk away. But then again that is not who I am so I will continue to ask questions of myself and continue to define happiness, what it is and how to get it. I will continue to learn from this struggle as that is the time we learn the most, even though I dont always like it, or want to tackle all that it presents me with. It is quite a scary lonely place to be sometimes, as I appear at times to be complete and healthy it is underneath that I know I am not 100% that the true struggle is. Enough about that for now. Yin yang, another one of those fucking learning experiences. at times I feel I could have done with out this one. as always keep the rubber side down.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

swobo is back

"ever since you started riding that singlespeed
your life has been on a path of self destruction" is what this shirt reads. I like it. however ever since I started riding a single speed my life has more been on a path of light. that is of course until the mono put me in the pain prison. now I have been on a different path, that of recovery and trying to find my place in this crazy world, doing something that makes a difference I hope. there is probably a "its in the journey, not the end result" quote but I think you get it. Speaking of direction, I once had my rays done, you have 12 etc, by my partners fathers wife, and it was noted that in one of the rays that denotes direction and life focus I am not very, get it. I float, i see too many options and dont know which one to take, they all seem good and bad. ying and yang. I will be more specific later. haha. get it. anyway. I have ideas it is just putting them in to plans and marching forward.
thats right, their back and open for business. I have a bunch of the old ones, can't wait to get my hands on some of the new ones. the t shirts are great too. check around the site, they got the right idea. organic cotten, merino wool, they are out to make a difference in the way they do business. think about it. what you buy or dont buy, makes a difference. support those that matter, those out for the world, the environment and ultimately we humans. as I have been saying for a while now we are on a slippery slope and we need to take notice. they think the same way. whats not to like. this blue looks sweet.
so today I start my new job. finally. the sun is shining so I am going to go ride around for a bit, sun in November in Seattle. I need to take advantage. even though I am feeling slugish and tired, rain will soon be here so I must take advantage, that and it gives me time to think. me time. we all need a little me time. as always keep the rubber side down.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

two entries one day

well here I sit. having not had a tv in a long while, over two years, well I owned a tv only using it to view movies and the such, I have been sucked in to the void. Comcast provides my internet service and for two dollars, who is going to turn that down, more they include basic cable. this is truly the work of the establishment. tv = brainwash, sedative, mind numbing activity to pass the time which takes your mind off all those things you should be working to change. what can I say I was sucked in to the void, for a bit. only a couple emotional porn shows. ie those heart warming stories that bring us to tears about people overcoming odds to help animals, kids and those less fortunate. ok you're right I did watch a few shows that just satisfy a less human need. well lets just put that all behind us. tv is for the birds.
so my inner debate as of late has been about motivation. what motivates us as humans to do wht it is we do. this is of course a very general question. but what motivates people to rant and rave about gas prices but drive a hummer? what motivates people to drink to forget? to get closer? to relax? what happened to our society? what motivates us to consume? to rebel against consumption? to not recycle? to not reuse? why are we such a throw away society. when did we decide as a nation not to care? when did we decide that we were to small to make a difference? now I know that i am speaking in broad terms and there are a lot of people doing great things, but the consensus as a whole as of late has been one lacking compasion for our earth. it does matter. simplicity, consiousness and attention are the keys to the future. knowing this then why is it so hard for me to stay true to all of them 100%. do I lack fortitude? am I weak? organic is it really that hard to eat all organic? try it, see what you run in to. for one it certainly is, out of pocket more expensive. cant always find what you want. eat local. not as easy as it seems. or am i just thinking it should be more simple. I want to simplify, but then I want. I just want. things. things that may make a difference, but in the end they are just more things. hemp clothes, local clothes, bike parts, food, local food, well I am babbleing and running on at the mouth. it sure has been awhile since I have done that. sustainabilty has been a big thought in my mind lately, google it and see how much info you are inindated with. bio degradable bags, cradle to cradle instead of cradle to grave, which currently exists. how do we make it happen. peak oil is the peak now or way off in the future. watch end of suburbia to find out what some experts think. bio diversity is the answer to me. we all dont need to use the same fuel source, its to draining. forward thinking politicians. is the answer. maybe bush has been a blessing finally people have turned, maybe the door is opening for a new future. I am searching for answers in the crazy world that we live in. cars r coffins, untill you want to go sking or need to go somewhere 150 mile away and only have limited time. I guess it could be said that you dont need to go. we have been conditioned differently. I like to ski. is light or train the way to the hill in the future. or is there a future. what does it all hold for us? well being the consumer that i am there are two shirts that I want here and here. if you are still reading thanks. i promise there will be more, later.

so it been awhile....

yes it has, i have been busy, relatives in town and the such, no time now have to go plane some boards for my girlfriends stepfathers new house. Still, not working the new job starts soon, like tommarrow. usual construction delays, looks like seattle will have a great advocate, Kent has a new job and a new blog. awsome. I really need to catch up with him. see if there is anything I can do to help or even get involved. Kent lets try to hook up real soon. I am in need of some inspiration and your insightful advice on a few things. health is ok, still tired a lot, and only motivated to ride around town, not long distances. looking to start doing pilates again, and as usual the 200 crunchs and 120 pushups at least 5 days a week. Turkey day is just ahead. oh boy. well I have work to do. oh and I plan to work on a friends bike. yeah I'm not the most skilled but I can change tires and tubes and the more basic stuff. Congrats to kent. sounds like a great job. again as always keep the rubber side down.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

thinking of next year

I am in the process of thinkin of next year in terms of racing but also in terms of life and my commitment to living it. Thinks on the agendy for next year....
1. organic food, and learning to cook, right now I hate to eat at home, I suck in other words
2. pilates...I need to be more flexible, the core is ok, but the flexibility is a huge issue
3. even less driving...sell cars, get biodesiel for now
4. learn to sew... someone needs to make quality clothing with style and function other than Mr Fassbinder
5. commiment to reading and learning new ideas. we as humans must learn more each day so that we can make positive changes
6. Less alcohol...I have been enjoying lots lately.
7. do races that dont cost much and are more like rides. Maybe only one where I go in circles for hours. Not that I dont love 24 hr races but I like to ride as well.
8. Fixed off road a bit, at least seeing what it is all about.

For now that is the basic list, it will change, parts may be deleted, or added. think about it. We must be the change we want to see in the world, one of my favorite ghandi quotes. Breakfast calls. more later

Thursday, November 10, 2005

this will be quick...

yes that is what I tell all the ladies. and to boot it wont hurt I can assure you. Hope that got your attention. Well I have been in contact with the carfree city people and plan on volunteering my time with them doing as much research as I possible can. So I am in the process of changing jobs again. man can the service industry be transient. this is the first time in so many years that I have been in such and upheavel. well moving states will do that. so my girlfriend and I are going to start a green blog in the near future so that I can save the non bike realted/interconnected stuff for that blog and get back to the cycling side of things on this site. well the clouds have opened here and it looks to be a wet night ahead. i was planning on riding to near by woodenville and the Redhook brewery where a group meets to night ride, but then remembered that the point 83 guys have a ride tonight, and then remembered that I wanted to go see the premier of this. Wonder if mr Ross himself will be there. I sure would enjoy talking with him. So back to the car selling which has been taking more time than I would like it to, insert lost title here. I am certainly not the cleanest person so it took a long time to clean her up so she looks real purty. wink wink. well selling that will free up some cash and make this transition time easier. So I guess it wasnt as quick as I thought, is that a bad thing? so I am off to play in the rain and see a movie, wish me luck.

Friday, November 04, 2005

so much has been going on....

So since moving to Seattle I have been in constant motion trying to settle in to my new life, and still keep track of it all and write it down for all to view. Well as of late I have fallen a little short, and I am sad to say I have been super tired and fear that I am still confronting what ever this beast I have been dealing with still. I think I am on the mend and feel great, only to wake up the next day in a bad mood or worse to not want to get out of bed, so I go to the movie rental spot rent some movies and return to home and proceed to sit in bed eat and watch movies. Only leaving the house to go to and from work, by bike I am happy to say. I have been riding some but then the cumulative miles add up and my legs, body and soul lag a bit. So I fear this mono or overtraining or chronic fatigue is still attacking me, man I wish it would just end and I could go on feeling alive and enthusiastic about racing and life. I am excited by changes in my existence. I dont have to drive at all really. I can walk or ride to every where, and distant places with others not in a riding mood can be reached by bus, so it could be worse. The people here are friendly and it always seems easy to converse and find similarities to others in this environment. This I am also thankful for. So back to what has been up, I am again changing jobs I was so happy to be back at the Brewery, then it quickly fell apart the General Manager liked what I was doing, but then his opinion of me changed like the wind and he, being the side chooser that he was sided with the night manager and I had to leave, on my own accord I was the one that forced the situation, and I didnt get fired, but it sure is interesting the choices that were made there. The night manager, who I can not stand, he is a horrid bartender, insert doesnt talk to the customers, spends more time with his back to the crowd than anything, won and I lost so to speak. Well it is a blessing in disguise, so off I go to a new job. Two jobs in two months, i have never been so unstable in my adult life. Well if anything it is certainly a learning experience. So enough about my crazy life, or maybe it is just me who thinks it is crazy.
check out this chick.
or this Frybrid
or even this, for all you suv drivers who just must drive suv's now you can cancel out what your car does to the environment.
Now I must warn you I am one of those who have come to think that the biggest thing that all of us can do is to make it our own missions to be responsible for what it is we do and how it is we choose to live. I know it could be said that this is not the american way, and it is certainly not the easiest way to live, but the more people that are responsible with all their choices the more it will become the prevasive way of thinking and in short the minority with be the majority and all will be better. The environment is the biggest thing that we can work on saving right now, and in doing so the world becomes a better, happier more equetious place for one and all. We are at a crucial point in the balance of the world, and sure there are those of you who think that what one person does, doesnt really matter, and to a certain extent one person in a vacuum doesnt really do much, but the more people that make it their mission, the more the dream becomes a reality. I am a big proponent of personal responsiblity, and each day that I learn more, I become more frietened for our generations and the generations to come. What legacy do you want to leave? I want to leave one of hope, and prosperity, not destruciton, and death. So stand up and live the way you want the world to live, because not changing and beign complacent is making a statement as much as changing is. Not voting is voting. Not being an element of change is beign an element of destruction. maybe that is drastic, maybe not. Well I am off to change the world.
Oh yeah almost forgot. this is an organization that all of us should support, and promote. Think clean living in a most dynamic enviroment. Think progressive. I am going to keep plugging these guys and am planing on volunteering my time with them. We need to collect as much information as possible, so that funding can be procurded and the Car free city can become a reality. Please if you have heard nothing take the time to fill out the 5 minuete quesitonaire. I thank you in advance. Well now I am off to see Citizen Cope at the Tractor here in Seattle.