two entries one day

well here I sit. having not had a tv in a long while, over two years, well I owned a tv only using it to view movies and the such, I have been sucked in to the void. Comcast provides my internet service and for two dollars, who is going to turn that down, more they include basic cable. this is truly the work of the establishment. tv = brainwash, sedative, mind numbing activity to pass the time which takes your mind off all those things you should be working to change. what can I say I was sucked in to the void, for a bit. only a couple emotional porn shows. ie those heart warming stories that bring us to tears about people overcoming odds to help animals, kids and those less fortunate. ok you're right I did watch a few shows that just satisfy a less human need. well lets just put that all behind us. tv is for the birds.
so my inner debate as of late has been about motivation. what motivates us as humans to do wht it is we do. this is of course a very general question. but what motivates people to rant and rave about gas prices but drive a hummer? what motivates people to drink to forget? to get closer? to relax? what happened to our society? what motivates us to consume? to rebel against consumption? to not recycle? to not reuse? why are we such a throw away society. when did we decide as a nation not to care? when did we decide that we were to small to make a difference? now I know that i am speaking in broad terms and there are a lot of people doing great things, but the consensus as a whole as of late has been one lacking compasion for our earth. it does matter. simplicity, consiousness and attention are the keys to the future. knowing this then why is it so hard for me to stay true to all of them 100%. do I lack fortitude? am I weak? organic is it really that hard to eat all organic? try it, see what you run in to. for one it certainly is, out of pocket more expensive. cant always find what you want. eat local. not as easy as it seems. or am i just thinking it should be more simple. I want to simplify, but then I want. I just want. things. things that may make a difference, but in the end they are just more things. hemp clothes, local clothes, bike parts, food, local food, well I am babbleing and running on at the mouth. it sure has been awhile since I have done that. sustainabilty has been a big thought in my mind lately, google it and see how much info you are inindated with. bio degradable bags, cradle to cradle instead of cradle to grave, which currently exists. how do we make it happen. peak oil is the peak now or way off in the future. watch end of suburbia to find out what some experts think. bio diversity is the answer to me. we all dont need to use the same fuel source, its to draining. forward thinking politicians. is the answer. maybe bush has been a blessing finally people have turned, maybe the door is opening for a new future. I am searching for answers in the crazy world that we live in. cars r coffins, untill you want to go sking or need to go somewhere 150 mile away and only have limited time. I guess it could be said that you dont need to go. we have been conditioned differently. I like to ski. is light or train the way to the hill in the future. or is there a future. what does it all hold for us? well being the consumer that i am there are two shirts that I want here and here. if you are still reading thanks. i promise there will be more, later.