Wednesday, June 14, 2006

What am I supposed to learn....

I am trying to come up with one of those life is.... sayings to sum up in a few words succinctly how life has been feeling lately and am at a loss for the correct words. There is the ever present and over used "life happens" which to me describes just that. This life that we lead comes with inherent resposibilities and they happen, is one definition. Things take longer than we as a collective want them too. Plans change. Schedules change. What is the saying "the best laid plans fail, fall short" something. Life has a way of providing road blocks, or challanges, puzzels if you will to slow us down, and possible teach us lessons. That is if we listen and pay attention. Patience is a Virture. How many more uphemisism can I throw in here. Anyways life tends to throw situations our way to teach us more about our selves and just quite possible more about the collective human condition. We are as much as I hate to admit it only human after all. I would love to be mutant freak, and not bound to the same collective restrictions, but at the end of the day, I am faced with the fact of being a human after all. Sometimes while out riding in traffic I feel above it all and on another plain, but then I get to work and have to deal with boss, and the customers and all of this has a way of bringing me back to earth. There is simple not enough hours in the day to do everything I wish that I could do. So being part of the collective is the answer and understanding personal motivation may help me understand the motivations of others and might just possible make it easier to come to terms with being human. Well now that i have totally made no sense and danced from topci to topic, a glimpse in to how my brain works, I will attempt to describe what is happening.

Communication, now I think I am quite good at it, but as of late that has most definately not been the case. The real question is: Is it what I say or might it be what I expect people have heard. So Sunday we went for an what was supposed to be an epic ride and that is was, but not for the same reasons that i initail thought. I was under the impression that the route had been ridden in its entirety and therefore would not involve exploration. wrong. first 6 miles amazing ups followed by amazing downs, then lots and lots of fireroad, gravel road and pavement with many stops all the time lost. oh yeah then some hike a bike insert 2000 vert in under a mile and a half. riding in 6 inches up mud more being lost. ok you get the point. a 3 to 4 hour expected ride turned in to a 8 hour where are we going fest. But we got back on track adn the final descent was out of this world.
Tuesday: The day I was supposed to get my bike frame back from the painter. Car trip to, lots of traffic. Frame looked awsome paint just what I wanted. had a long conversation when I dropped it off about taping of the head badge, understood, 1 of a kind,etc etc. Well you can imagine where this is going. Head badge got painted. fuck, now they have to re do it. there is an hour and a half wasted in the car, for a conversation I thought was well understood, it was noted every where.
I wont bore you with more, but that is they way it has been going. What am I supposed to learn, not so sure, but under all this I am looking for the silver lining. because there is always a silver lining under all things, or am I just supposed to change my level of expectation, ask more questions and maybe be that guy, the guy that asks to many questions and wants to control the outcome too much. This post was less bikeing related and more just a vent if you made it this far you are a trooper, if not you really missed out. as always keep pedaling and enjoy

1 comment:

Cellarrat said...

The way the cookie crubbles..

shit happens...

life sucks...

Whatever you pick it can Always be worse I really hate those days where I seem to be runing around like a chciken with my head cut off...

Anyways hopfully the rest of your week goes beter.