Friday, July 01, 2005

updates

Well it sure has been a while since I posted. I have not been motivated to do it. I have been in a dark hole struggleing to see the light, I get breif glimpses, but not much. I have also not wanted to bore anyone with the details of my lethargic uneventful existence. The more research I do, the more I read, leads me to believe that it is not just simple overtraining, it has developed in to what is called overtraining syndrome, which is far more complex. It leads to chronic fatigue like symptoms, headaches, muscle soreness, depression, apathy, irratability etc. I think you get the picture. It is usually a season ender, not something to be taken lightly. Something that struck me as ironic is that it is exactly the drive and the ability to suffer that takes you to the top and the same characteristics that lead to your own demise. In a sense you are your own worst enemy. Speak about a twisted situation. I had felt similar feelings in races, on long training rides, and was always able to rise above, to push my way through the blocks. I usually enjoy suffering enjoy the physical pain, it makes me feel alive, I have never felt more relaxed and fulfiled than after a 100mile race, or 24 hr solo effort. I am afraid to lay down to conceed to my situation, either through stupidity or bravdo I am unsure, I feel that my indentity will be compromised because I know nothing other than forging on than pushing than forcing the issue. I am sure it is this attitude as well that is prolonging my situation, I feel fat, lazy and stifiled. I must learn to be gentle, I have so many years to ride ahead of me, this feels like the end, I know it is not and I will get better, but damit I want to get better now, I want relief from this hell hole that I am in.
Speaking of relief I went to the Cream Puff, it was great to see all my friends Pat Doyle was there, he won the SS class, he is a great guy and gave me some encoragement about my situation, Sloane Anderson was there, always great to see him. check out his race report at http://s90235461.onlinehome.us/sloane/blog.html . Roger Lackey my good friend from Auburn who look strong but had a bunch of IT band pain slowig him down. Dave Yackatis, sorry I buchered your last name, who was flying, and within reach of the leaders before he took a wrong turn and lost a lot of time. The Vulture boys, Derrick was racing, I found out his secret how he keeps going, but I wont tell, Derrick your secret is safe with me. Wade, the Vulture himself, with Rio, always a pleasure. In all my free time lately I have been working on getting some product,in the way of hats, and beanies for the Vulture boys, I made them custom Dickies Jackets, which I presented them with while at the Puff. They loved them. So to make a long story short, I woke up in the am and decided that racing was not the option and recover was the order of the day. So I hung out at aid 2 and cheered everyone on. Wish me well and send good thoughts. Thanks

1 comment:

Sally said...

The way you are dealing with your struggle impresses me so much. Love, Sally